Post subject: Weddings

I have a catholic wedding that I'm expected to participate in this July. Should I just bite my tongue and conform? Or should I risk the wrath of the family (and more scarily my spouse) and refuse to attend?

How do other Atheists handle this?

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I obviously don't know the people involved... but I imagine that a lot of people wouldn't understand your reasons for not participating and might take it as a personal insult. So you'd have to weigh that possibility against acting according to your principles. For me personally it wouldn't be a huge compromise to suck it up and participate in the wedding, even if it is Catholic.

I'm not married myself, but think that when I do get married, it wouldn't bother me much to have a religious ceremony if it would make my family, or my wife's family, happy. My family is Catholic, but my brother had a purely secular wedding, and no one made a fuss, so I don't think it will be an issue for my family. But I can't say for sure about the woman I eventually marry so... whether it's Catholic, or Jewish, or Buddhist, or Wiccan, or whatever, I don't really care. Secular is fine too. A wedding is basically a big to do to mark a special occasion and to publicly make a commitment, and I think that most religious ceremonies do the job adequately.

Post subject:

HZ
Participate? You mean like be a groomsman, or are you simply invited to the wedding?
Just how PO'd is the wife going to be if you balk?
How close are you to the wedding couple?

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Yikes! I just noticed that I made a huge typo in my last post.

I wrote:

"For me personally it would be a huge compromise to suck it up and participate in the wedding, even if it is Catholic."

when I meant to write:

"For me personally it wouldn't be a huge compromise to suck it up and participate in the wedding, even if it is Catholic."

I edited my previous post accordingly.

Post subject:

HeatheNZ,
The only problem with participating in a christian wedding rather than only attending it is that you can't make faces the whole time, or talk. I'd say just do it. It's an hour of your life spent to make your friends happy. That's not too bad. Just make sure the cake is good.

I have a question of my own. Is there a way to have a nonreligious wedding but in a nicer atmosphere than city hall? Sure, I've been to some nice city hall weddings (both my oldest brother and oldest sister got married in city hall), but I always wanted a bit more than that, something outdoors and at sunset, something more romantic.

Post subject:

Evil,

My brother got married secular-style at a quaint little hotel in Gloucester, MA, which is right on the Atlantic ocean, complete with rocky shores, crashing waves, and tall grasses (a Justice of the Peace performed the ceremony). It was very nice.

Post subject: Weddings

The main reason I became an ordained minister was to be able to offer people another option for weddings other than a church or a J.P.
The ceremony is designed specifically to the couples beliefs, whatever they may be.
It helps to be a Gnostic Freethinker.

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Just bring a game boy, or listen to your I-Pod. Serenity is easy to obtain in the electronic age.

Post subject:

Sounds like an excellent business idea - an Atheist wedding planner. You could book Richard Dawkins to do the secular ceremony. Wow, that actucally sounds great - who is in on this with me?
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Prayer has no place in schools, just as facts have no place in religion

Post subject: wedding

My daughter is engaged and to be married on July 19th 2008 and we are looking for an officiant in our part of Illinois. We live in the Quad City area and was wondering if anyone could help us.

Post subject: wedding officiates

To: Still Groovy
Maybe I can help. I am an ordained minister through the ULC and their register has a list of ministers in Illinois.
If you would leave me a PM with the city the ceremony will take place I will see if I can locate someone in your area.
Many of the ULC clergy are non-religious or don't require a religious affiliation and will also tailor the ceremony to the wishes of the couple.
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"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." Albert Einstein